PDF Environment Review Content

Follow this Procedure to Review and Discuss

Your Environment Mirror

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”
– James 1:19

“Listen to counsel, accept criticism that you may be wise the rest of your days.”
– Proverbs 19:20

Take advantage of this opportunity to see yourself as your spouse sees you, make appropriate changes and watch what God does for your relationship.

“So don’t be averse to converse. Don’t balk at a talk. Let’s get ready to really communicate.”
R. Petersen

Review the Purpose of your Discussion.

Having this kind of conversation will:

  1. Show that you are making your relationship a priority.
  2. Help each other to feel valued and loved.
  3. Increase self-esteem.
  4. Foster trust, romance, and intimacy.
  5. Strengthen your overall relationship.

Review the “Ground Rules” for your Discussion.

Remember, how you provide feedback is as important as the feedback itself.

Avoid these “Turn-Offs”

  1. Do not meet if you or your partner is tired, hungry, irritable, or intoxicated.
  2. Set aside, avoid and eliminate any complaints or criticisms you may have of your partner. Do not even hint at disappointments or hurt feelings. THAT WON’T HELP!!

Practice These Powerful “Turn-Ons”

  1. Sit close to or next to each other, not across from each other.
  2. Smile, make eye contact, and relax.
  3. Maintain an optimistic tone of voice and a friendly facial expression.
  4. Keep your communication warm and caring.
  5. Keep an open posture.

Always Begin Your Discussion with Compliments.

Beginning the conversation with compliments will create a warm climate and positive energy for the rest of the meeting.

  1. Decide who will begin to share the 5 (or more) compliments about your partner that each of you collected in advance.
  2. Take turns complimenting your partner’s positive attributes and behaviors.
  3. Sincerely thank each other for the feedback.

Focus on the Following as you Review and Compare Your Answers.

  1. Remember you are concentrating on fostering harmony and goodwill.
  2. Pay attention to what the “mirror” is revealing:
    a. Where are your perceptions similar?
    b. Where do your perceptions differ?
    c. What do you and your partner like about how you communicate with each other?
    d. What would you and your partner like to change about your communication?
    e. Is there anything about what your partner said that surprises you?
  3. How can your partner help you improve your communication skills? Offer positive ideas and suggestions.
  4. End with a positive note and thank each other for the feedback.

After your discussion, get ready to review your personalized scoring chart and choose an environment skill to work on.

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