Our Speaking Discussion Covenant: Guide to a Productive Review
GUIDING WISDOM:
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)
“A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.” (Proverbs. 15:1)
“Your speech should always be gracious and sprinkled with insight so that you may know how to respond to every person.” (Colossians 4:6)
Our Commitment: We affirm that this covenant creates a safe, loving space for growth—not judgment. Our partner is our “mirror,” revealing blind spots and strengths. We trust God to transform our marriage through this conversation!
Why We Commit
- Prioritize our relationship.
- Feel valued, loved, and heard.
- Ignite trust, romance, and intimacy.
- Strengthen our bond forever.
Non-Negotiable Ground Rules
We commit to practicing these non-negotiable rules for our discussion:
- Timing: No meeting if tired, hungry, irritable, or intoxicated.
- Mindset: Zero complaints, criticisms, or disappointment—focus on growth!
- Turn-Ons:
- VERBAL: Warm tone, friendly face, caring words.
- BODY LANGUAGE: Sit side-by-side (not across), smile, eye contact, open posture.
- Mutual Goal: Understand—not prove we’re right.
Our Plan for Discussion
As we review our assessment data, we commit to this discussion plan, ensuring our “Marriage Mirror” reveals grace, clarity, and a path to growth:
- We will agree on who begins sharing their assessment answers first.
- We will identify similarities and differences in our perceptions.
- We will celebrate the strengths and successes of how we currently communicate.
- We will clearly define the positive changes we both want to make in our communication.
- We will offer positive ideas and support for helping each other improve our skills.
The Covenant Promise
You are about to step into your Marriage Mirror discussion. This is a time for grace and growth, not for defense or blame. Complete these steps before looking at your assessment results.
Step 1: The Vow
Before you begin, take a moment to really connect. Maintain comfortable eye contact and smile—with your mouth and your eyes. You may even want to hold hands. When you’re ready, take turns reading the vow question to your partner and receiving their answer.
❤️ Question: “Do you pledge to honor this Marriage Mirror, to listen with understanding, to speak with love and respect, and to choose words that make this hour productive and rooted in grace?”
❤️ Answer: “I do.”
(Now switch roles and repeat the exchange.)
Step 2: Affirmation
Beginning with compliments creates a warm climate and positive energy.
- Take turns sharing the five (or more) genuine compliments about your partner’s positive attributes and behaviors that you each collected in advance. Take your time, focus entirely on your partner, and let this affirmation ground your discussion in love and gratitude.
- Sincerely thank each other for the feedback.
Step 3: Prayer of Blessing
Conclude your commitment with a prayer of blessing over your discussion. You may read the following prayer aloud or say your own:
🙏Heavenly Father, help us to “speak the truth in love” today. As we share, guard our hearts from defensiveness and our lips from harshness. Give us the grace to hear our partner’s perspective without interruption. Let our conversation be seasoned with salt, bringing grace to one another as we seek a deeper level of understanding. Amen.
Ready to Begin: Once you have completed your Vows, Compliments, and Prayer, check the acknowledgment box below to activate the “Begin Now” button.