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Our Listening Discussion Covenant

GUIDING WISDOM:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

“Listen carefully before you answer.” (Proverbs 18:13)

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future.” (Proverbs 19:20)

Our Commitment: We affirm that this covenant creates a safe, loving space for growth—not judgment. Our partner is our “mirror,” revealing blind spots and strengths. We trust God to transform our marriage through this conversation!

Why We Commit

  1. Prioritize our relationship.
  2. Feel valued, loved, and heard.
  3. Ignite trust, romance, and intimacy.
  4. Strengthen our bond forever.

Non-Negotiable Ground Rules

We commit to practicing these non-negotiable rules for our discussion:

  1. Timing: No meeting if tired, hungry, irritable, or intoxicated.
  2. Mindset: Zero complaints, criticisms, or disappointment—focus on growth!
  3. Turn-Ons:
    1. VERBAL: Warm tone, friendly face, caring words.
    2. BODY LANGUAGE: Sit side-by-side (not across), smile, eye contact, open posture.
  4. Mutual Goal: Understand—not prove we’re right.

Our Plan for Discussion

As we review our assessment data, we commit to this discussion plan, ensuring our “Marriage Mirror” reveals grace, clarity, and a path to growth:

  1. We will agree on who begins sharing their assessment answers first.
  2. We will identify similarities and differences in our perceptions.
  3. We will celebrate the strengths and successes of how we currently communicate.
  4. We will clearly define the positive changes we both want to make in our communication.
  5. We will offer positive ideas and support for helping each other improve our skills.

The Covenant Ceremony: A Sacred Promise for Review

You are about to step into your Marriage Mirror discussion. This is a sacred time for grace and growth, not for defense or blame. Complete these steps before looking at your assessment results.

Step 1: The Sacred Vow

Before you begin, turn to your partner. Hold hands, look into each other’s eyes, and smile. Take turns reading the vow question to your partner and receiving the answer:

❤️ Question: “Do you pledge to honor this Marriage Mirror, to listen with understanding, to speak with love and respect, and to choose words that make this hour productive and rooted in grace?”

❤️ Answer: “I do.”

(Now switch roles and repeat the exchange.)

Step 2: Affirmation

Beginning with compliments creates a warm climate and positive energy.

  1. Take turns sharing the five (or more) genuine compliments about your partner’s positive attributes and behaviors that you each collected in advance. Take your time, focus entirely on your partner, and let this affirmation ground your discussion in love and gratitude.
  2. Sincerely thank each other for the feedback.

Step 3: Prayer of Blessing

Conclude your commitment with a prayer of blessing over your discussion. You may read the following prayer aloud or say your own:

🙏Father God, As we now look into our Marriage Mirror, bless our hearts with humility and our minds with wisdom. Give us the grace to listen with love, the strength to speak with respect, and the vision to see the beautiful marriage You intend for us. Guide every word, and may our marriage shine for Your glory. Amen.

Ready to Begin: Once you have completed your Vows, Compliments, and Prayer, check the acknowledgment box below to activate the “Begin Now” button.