Our Speaking Discussion Covenant: Guide to a Productive Review
GUIDING WISDOM:
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)
“A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.” (Proverbs. 15:1)
“Your speech should always be gracious and sprinkled with insight so that you may know how to respond to every person.” (Colossians 4:6)
The Purpose of Our Covenant
We affirm that this time is about growth, not judgment. Our partner is our “mirror”—an invaluable guide to seeing ourselves as they see us. We commit to making appropriate changes, and we trust that God will work through this process to bless our relationship. This kind of focused conversation will:
- Show that we are making our relationship a priority.
- Help us feel valued and loved by each other.
- Foster trust, romance, and intimacy.
- Strengthen our overall relationship.
Essential Ground Rules
We commit to practicing these non-negotiable rules for our discussion:
- Timing and Mindset: We will not meet if either of us is tired, hungry, irritable, or intoxicated. We commit to setting aside all complaints, criticisms, or disappointments for this time.
- Practice “Turn-Ons”: We will practice powerful “Turn-Ons” such as beginning with compliments, smiling, maintaining eye contact, and using an optimistic tone and open body language.
- Mutual Goal: Our goal is mutual understanding, not convincing the other person we are right.
- Share Compliments Now: We will share the thoughtful compliments we have prepared before clicking “Begin Now” to start the review. This sets a positive, affectionate tone.